Text and email can be a perfect ice-breaker

An article in the Independent (online) today about the benefits of texts between teenager and parent as an ice-breaker reminded me of a few situations that my daughter and I have had.

It can get pretty intense living with a teenager and there are times when verbal communication is impossible. Pressing a point with a teenager is usually pointless, though I try to do it anyway! She doesn't want to listen; I get frustrated and repeat myself, which sounds like a lecture; she gets angry; I get angry back. Likewise, she might want something I'm reluctant to agree to and sparks start to fly. It can become a vicious spiral that ends in both of us feeling battered and frustrated.

My daughter and I discovered by accident that email is a great vehicle for calming down situations that get a little out of hand. We explain how we feel and why. It gives us both a chance to reflect on the other's point of view. It also provides an opportunity to later have a calm discussion. There has not been a time yet where we haven't been able to talk about things openly and ended up with an understanding of each other's position, engaged in some negotiation and come to an agreement. A cuddle always follows.

Occasionally we've resorted to short texts too.

Until this stage, I'd always had a negative view of using non-verbal forms of communication. I knew from past experience that the written word can be misconstrued. However, I've happily changed my mind as the benefits of using email and text as a first stage of clearing the air and resolving conflict have proved incredibly helpful in our house.

Read the Independent's article.